Our Hero
This one is based on Cheerily from The Hums of Pooh, so hum along and genuflect to the REAL hero of the GFFA!


3 Cheers for Artoo!
(For who?)

For Artoo —
(Why what did he do?)

I thought you knew —
Without Artoo, the GFFA
Would not be what it is today;
In fact, the place would be a void
Without our faithful little Droid.
(Forgive me if I sound a pain,
But who is this Artoo again?)

Oh listen, do!
It almost seems
As if your ears
Are full of beans!
Or maybe you've been rendered so
By Del Rey and the NJO;
Or listening to Threepio
Has made your aural circuits blow.
So please refrain from being twitty
At least until I've made this ditty.
(Beg pardon for my ignorance,
I didn't mean to cause offence.
I think you said the GFFA
Would not be what it is today
Without Artoo — a little Droid?)

This is a fact you can't avoid.
I'm glad that you are seeing sense,
So with my hum I'll recommence
And start with a familiar scene —
Two Jedi and Queen Amidala
In space (where no-one hears you scream)
Escaping from a huge armada.
A blast! A hit! Oh, what a to do!
And to the rescue — ArtooDetoo.
Without his spunk and level head
His vaunted comrades would be dead,
And Ric Olié would, as you see,
Be spread across the galaxy.
While Palpatine and Nute Gunray
Would both be shouting hip hooray!
Which spoils the continuity
For everything in the OT.
(So basically without Artoo
The OT would become AU,
For Obi-Wan and Han and Luke
And Leia would have been kaput?)

And, if not that then Threepio
Without Artoo would surely drive
Chewie, Leia and Lando
As well as Han to suicide,
Making Star Wars horribly
Like The Revenger's Tragedy.
(I like a little Oedipus,
But THAT would be ridiculous.)

So that is why I wrote this hum
To celebrate our little chum,
And thank him for, midst angst and grief,
Providing us with light relief;
For turning fashion on its head
By proving short and stout is HOT,
Which means what Yoda said
Is true — size? Nah, it matters not.
(I see I must revise my view
Of what a hero really is.
I think I've come to realise
Good things come in small packages.)

Although they make a brave duo,
Even Han and Chewie know
The Falcon would be just a wreck
Without a certain astromech.
Sex appeal is fine, in truth,
But best is being bulletproof.
So now let's give 3 hearty cheers
And charge your glasses for Artoo,
Our loyal companion through the years.
Hey, little guy —
This one's for you.

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