GFFA Hums: Episode 2
Iella
Scribbles by Diana


Iella has written GFFA Hums which are little poems sung under the breaths of pre-occupied GFFA denizens. Here are some more!



[Based on Rice Pudding]

The Death Star
(A puzzled kind of poem by an Imperial engineer)

What is the matter with Palpatine?
He's having a tantrum and making a scene,
And he's zapping the head of the Death Star team.
What is the matter with Palpatine?

What is the matter with Palpatine?
We've booked him a date with a cute Falleen
And some Twi'leks from PlaySith holozine.
What is the matter with Palpatine?

What is the matter with Palpatine?
The Death Star is finished and looking pristine,
And we're sure we used only the best plastine.
What is the matter with Palpatine?



[Based on The Zoo]

How to Deal with Jedi
(A poem by Jabba full of useful ideas and sound advice)

There are vornskrs and raging rancors and banthas fat and thin
For punishing pesky Jedi, when they stick their noses in.
Some hire Mandalorians and offer a prize bounty,
But I feed mine to the Sarlacc who lives in the Dune Sea.



On Yavin there are beetles that can nibble away their skin.
The Mon Cal find krakana, then throw their Jedi in.
And the latest trick from Myrkr is an ysalamiri,
But I feed mine to the Sarlacc who lives in the Dune Sea.



[Based on If I Were King.]

Dream On
(A wistful but fatalistic kind of poem by an obsessed Star Wars fan)

I often wish I were a Givin,
Then maths exams would be my thing.

If only I were like Lando,
I'd clean up at the casino.

If I were Agamarian,
My lavender shorts would look good on.

And if I were Ithorian,
My pot plants wouldn't look so wan.

If I were a Mara clone,
I wouldn't need the silicone

But there again if I were Borsk,
I probably would be divorced.

And if I was a Twi'lek chick,
I'd be real cute, but oh so thick.

So I think I'd best remain as me:
A GFFA wannabe.



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