Till Death Do You Part
"Don't mess this one up, Corsec. It's bad enough you stole my baby girl right from under me the first time. This time, we're doing it properly.
"If you screw this up, remember that marriage vow: till death do you part ... and you will part ..."
My father-in-law is Booster Terrik, and in case you've been living in some other plane of existence for the past decade or so, he's big. I don't just mean big, as in huge and forbidding, which he is. He's well-connected, successful, and expects the best -- especially when it involves his only child. And if you mess up anything, he will make sure your life will be a sorry one from that point forward.
It sounds like a sort of different vow, doesn't it?
I eloped with his daughter, Mirax ... I have to admit, it wasn't the best idea, but the man is scary! And so when she said she wanted to elope ASAP, I thought it'd be the best way to get out of having to ask him for her hand, etc. Minimizing contact with Booster sounded like a great idea.
I was wrong then. Actually, even now, years later, I have to wonder why I thought elopement would be a good way to avoid Booster. He hated my guts even before I married his daughter and I doubt his feelings for me have improved ... and I have to admit I understand it better now that I have kids of my own.
Anyway, after we'd eloped, Booster was big about it and hid his hurt feelings by promptly announcing that the "real" wedding would occur on the newly conquered Coruscant. He was helping the New Republic get a needed boost by inviting all his shady friends to do "business," I guess. Being from several generations of law enforcement officers, it made me uncomfortable to be consorting with the criminal element, but my wife reminded me that they were family. I'm related to Booster now, after all.
I wonder what my Dad would have thought of being related to a criminal? He'd been the one who had finally caught Booster and put the smuggler in prison. I'd like to think Dad would have been big about it, but I'm not so sure ...
Mirax also pointed out that the gifts we'd get would help us greatly in terms of setting up house. We'd been living on the lam and on the border of the economic fringe, fighting and gun-running in this galactic civil war. We had nothing, and she frankly told me that if people wanted to ingratiate themselves to Booster and give us gifts, we were in no position to embarrass my father-in-law. He was mad at me, after all. Even threatened my life ... especially if I screwed up this big for-show wedding reception!
Newly married, and already I was being beaten down by the in-laws! I was tired of it, but rather than rising up and making a scene, I decided to lay low. Call it survival instinct. Or maybe it's maturity?
So, I'd been playing along during this intense planning period, trying to be helpful, but I was told at every turn that I wasn't needed. Not in so many words, of course, but there seemed to be plenty of people who could not only do a better job than me, but wanted to do it. The jobs like booking places and people, picking clothes, organizing guests ... Mirax had a big extended "family" of friends and colleagues who liked doing that sort of thing.
Quite frankly, I was relieved. By offering to help, I got some sort of "credit" for trying. But since my offer was refused, it meant I had an excuse for doing nothing.
Then I was surprised when Booster pulled me aside and told me that I was responsible for the cake! It seemed like something one of "the family" would be much better at dealing with, but he explained that it was something which would be ordered in advance, and only needed to be picked up by someone reliable. "I'll comm the cakemaker and make the order. She's an old friend, and owes me many favors. You just need to contact her, then pick it up. Even you could not mess this up!"
Any chance he got to get a dig into me, Booster took. He is nothing if not an opportunist. Had to respect that about the guy.
So I called this woman, Calire, just to introduce myself and ask when to pick up the cake, what should I bring to carry it, was it big, in one piece or many ... you know, the stuff one usually asks for such a task. She seemed kind of normal, not the type I'd normally associate with professional catering. And she didn't seem the hypercold, clever, calculating types I'd associate with the likes of Booster.
Those business types are really organized and not at all casual. Calire was gushy and motherly and went on and on about how honored she was to be making the cake for Mirax's wedding ... I tried to ask about what Booster had ordered, but she glossed right over it. Well, I figured she knew Booster and Mirax, and she'd do a good job of the cake. One less thing for me to mess up, right? So I stopped worrying.
There was so much going on in organizing this wedding, and it was pretty dizzying. As I said, I was really relieved to be absolved of the usual responsibilities and simply watch the circus. No to-do lists or obligations not a bad deal, when you think about it!
Even better, I got to hang out a lot with friends, old and new. We'd just killed Isard, won Thyferra for the New Republic, had won Coruscant, chased down Zsinj life was a big party! And I resolved to enjoy the celebration enormously.
It was also a great thing that Mirax and I were already married. We didn't have to maintain separate residences, we didn't have to file paperwork everywhere, and we didn't have any of the usual jitters that almost-married couples seem to suffer.
It was a good time in my life, and I had never felt so relaxed. Sure, my wife had a lot to do for the reception, and would express her tensions and frustrations regularly. But every night, we could just hook up and sleep in one another's arms. We had had no immediate enemies to fear, and our friends were coming to party with us!
And so it went for the month or so before the wedding. It's really not much time to plan, but it was just as well. Any more planning and worrying, I would have run away with my wife and eloped again, Booster's anger be damned!
About a week before the celebration, people started arriving on Coruscant, and my time was spent with my wife meeting and greeting. We were so busy that it was hard to make time for ourselves, but we made sure to do just that. Just the two of us, and it seemed more important than ever to take a break from all the organizing and fussing, to try and maintain our sanity and good humor!
Even for me, the guy with nothing to do, the tension was mounting and I found myself being nervous for no particular reason. At least, that's what it looked like to Mirax.
We were sitting in a low-level eatery featuring alien foodstuffs, eating out of a shared bowl. We figured none of the show-offs who'd been invited to the wedding would know about this little hole-in-the-wall, much less want to be seen eating here. So we could have a private hour here.
We tried talking about this and that, you know ... the normal stuff people might talk about. But this was one week before the wedding, and Mirax's mind was on her check-lists. I guess it was natural that she'd talk about the dress fitting, the shoe-dying, the hairdressers, the bridesmaids, the groomsmen ... I hadn't even chosen my groomsmen! Booster had made those decisions for me; fortunately, he chose Wedge Antilles as my best man.
I like Wedge, and he's like a brother to Mirax. He's also the guy who performed the marriage ceremony when we eloped, too. Booster had told Wedge that since he was responsible for his losing Mirax, he'd get to be on center-stage with me ... and to jink away when the blaster was pointed at me, or he'd be shot, too! Nice sense of humor, my father-in-law has.
Wedge newly returned from leading a new Intel / Flight group was happy to accept. Though I think he had no choice! As I said, my father-in-law is a tough man to say, "No" to!
So, I had little to contribute, other than to confirm that my wedding suit was already in the apartment, ready for me to put on.
She was getting a little annoyed that I hadn't done anything toward the wedding, actually. I explained that no one wanted me to do anything anyway; she knew that, but it still annoyed her that she had so much to do and that I had nothing scheduled till the big day!
"Booster did give me a job, a really important task! I have to pick up the cake on the day," I explained, trying to make her feel better about my apparent lack of chores.
"He did? Oh! I didn't know that. So you chose a design and flavors and a baker?" I was surprised Mirax didn't know all the details of the cake; how was it that I knew about the cake and she didn't? I was wondering if I'd slipped up and maybe she wasn't supposed to know about the cake?
"Um ... yeah. I mean no. I mean ... your father gave me the name of the baker, and she's taking care of the rest." I filled my mouth with more than my share of stew, trying to have a reason not to talk.
Mirax looked startled again. "You don't know what the cake will look or taste like?"
"Um ..." I mumbled, chewing slowly. Hey, I'm not supposed to talk with my mouth full!
"Corran ... I'm not mad, honestly." Mirax is normally a good liar, but she was visibly upset and getting agitated, so her jitters showed quite plainly. "Who did you order the cake from?"
"It's ... it's a surprise. Trust me!" I tried to talk with a lot more confidence than I was feeling. You'd think a man with experience as an undercover investigator could fool his wife about such a thing, right?
She took a deep series of breaths. Mirax was really worried! "Sweetie ... do me a favor. I'll sleep so much better if you could just call the baker, and make sure the cake is okay. And if you could get some details ... I don't want to know the details of your surprise. But I do want to know that you know! Will you do that for me? Please?"
How could I resist such a simple request? Hey, I admit, I was being selfish here don't call Calire and have my wife worrying and prodding me for another week ... or call and put her mind at ease? I'm not dumb! I took the easy way out.
"Yes, my petal, I will do that only for you, my sugarbooboo!" I blew kisses at her and she smacked me on the arm. It felt good when things returned to normal, even for a few moments. We laughed, and finished up our dinner. Just because we could hide from the wedding planning, didn't mean we didn't have other places to be. She had to do some hair or makeup stuff, I think. I've learned it pays not to fuss about such things, if you're a man.
I had to meet with my groomsmen, I had told her. It was the truth! I was going to meet Wedge and Iella at a tapcaf. Mirax could assume that some planning and work would be done; I didn't have to tell her we were just planning to booze up a bit!
I know it may sound odd that one of my groomsmen was Iella Wesseri as womanly a woman as could be but she was my partner at Corsec and knew me almost better than anyone. We were even on the same "wanted" lists when we escaped Corellia. And, what's more, I knew that Wedge and Iella were crazy about each other, but for some reason, neither would make the first move. So I figured I'd help the process along.
I got there late, and had to explain to Wedge about the cake and how Mirax was nervous about it. I could tell him that, being that he and Mirax were orphaned siblings together, and he knew her almost better than Iella knew me.
"So, what's keeping you? Better make the call to the baker before you get too sloshed," chided Wedge. "Go on, get it over with! I promise to behave if Iella shows up while you're out." He sounded nervous when he said that last bit.
So I excused myself to comm Calire ... and apparently, I actually am dumb. Or rather, just stupid. Or just really, really unlucky.
Calire had no idea who I was, and I had to explain about Booster and the upcoming wedding cake. By the time she recalled, I was in a real panic!
"Oh, Horn ... yes, you're Booster's son-in-law? I'm sorry, I truly am ... but I can't possibly make you a cake!" Calire didn't sound all that concerned, in contrast to my rising distress.
"What? But ... but you said you'd take care of it! You said you were honored "
"Yes, yes, I did say that, didn't I ... but the honest truth is that I just plain forgot! I didn't log it into my schedule, and there are so many orders for cakes. And quite frankly, your wedding is not the most important thing on the Coruscant social calendar. Besides, you're already married, no one will expect a big cake, I'm sure you can find an adequate cake at the market ..."
She kept babbling, making like it was a no big deal that she'd forgotten my wedding cake. My mind, however, was not absorbing anything she was saying. I'd grown numb and frozen, and my ability to think had petrified!
What was I going to tell Mirax?
What would I tell Booster?!?
My life was suddenly worth nothing ... just like Booster promised, I would be a dead man!
I should have called daily to check. I should have visited the bakery. I should have insisted!
Iella appeared at my side, greeting me in vain. In my catatonia, I didn't register her presence, or the fact that she had been listening to the one-sided conversation.
She took the comlink from me, turned it off, and said, very calmly, "Sounds like you're in some trouble, Horn."
I shook my head hard. "Mirax will ... I'm so sorry ... I ... I ..." And I thoroughly embarrassed myself by bursting out into tears, right out on the street outside this crummy tapcaf.
"I totally screwed up!" I was moaning into my hands, sobbing. "We don't have a wedding cake! Booster is going to kill me!"
She was holding and shaking me, and she was totally annoyed with me. "Get a hold of yourself. You always make this about YOU ... how Booster is going to kill YOU, how YOU totally screwed up ... you, you, YOU ... why is it always about YOU??"
As low as I was feeling, I had to giggle as I sniffled. She had a point, and it was inexplicably funny at that moment.
Iella dragged me back into the tapcaf and ordered several drinks from the server 'droid, then forced me to sit down and bolt them. She spotted Wedge, who'd been waving at us from the snug booth he'd managed to claim for us. I got dragged again, this time stumbling from the blanket of enebriation which seemed to be settling over me from the quickly drunk concoctions Iella had been making me swig.
Wedge looked concerned, but figured it had to be the cake that was causing my current state. He stood up and Iella sat closest to the wall and pulled me in beside her. Wedge seemed to understand that I was not to escape, and sat on the other side of me.
There I was, sandwiched between by groomsmen, and started to feel all emotional and maudlin. I started to weep.
Ignoring me, Wedge asked, "Bad news, huh?"
Iella took a sip of her synthol and nodded. "Could be bad, could be worse ... but okay, the facts: (1) No cake the baker forgot to schedule it. (2) Booster made Corran responsible for the cake, so he's going to be really, really mad. (3) Corran is not going to look good to anyone."
Wedge nodded back, "And (4) Mirax will not be particularly happy, either."
Listening, I wailed, "I have to force Calire to make the cake! She'd promised!"
Iella pinched me on the underside of my upper arm so hard I yelped, sure that it would bruise. "Shut up, Horn. No, you cannot. At this point, I would say that no one would even want a cake from that woman!"
"Yeah, forgetting your wedding, what a bitch she is to say we're not important enough for her to have remembered!" Wedge must've been pretty tipsy. He doesn't normally talk like that, but maybe this was his sloppy attempt at flirting?
I snuffled again, "... but ... the wedding is in a week! How are we going to get a big enough, fancy enough cake in a week??" I started to cry again.
Iella pushed my head down onto the table and leaned on my shoulder to keep my face planted where it was. Facing Wedge, she asked, "So, I assume you don't know of any bakers ... tell that 'droid to bring over a directory 'pad, will you?"
She tapped my head when I tried to pick it up off the table and told me to stay down for the time-being. "It'll be the only rest you get this week," she promised. It sounded so threatening ...
Wedge lay the datapad on my back, across my shoulders, as they looked through it for bakers. They commed many of them. Most could not accommodate the request. A few said they could make a bunch of smaller cakes, but nothing big and "special." Iella had Wedge book them, telling them to bake as many cakes in whatever variety.
With the amount I'd drunk, the soothing heat from the datapad on my back, and the emotional exhaustion, I'd dozed off as I tried to keep up with the rhythm of what my groomsmen were doing. Much to my embarrassment, when Iella poked me to rouse me, I'd drooled onto the table.
Wedge was laughing at me as I rubbed the red spot on my cheek, which had lain on the table for who knows how long? I dared to wonder, had they found a baker to make the cake?
I had sobered up and calmed down by now; Iella was right to force me to nap. She's a great pal. So I more or less understood what they were telling me: the thousands of guests would be presented with a big display of disparate cakes from a variety of bakers. The choice of bakeries was limited by those who had room in their schedules and ovens, and who were also willing to extend credit. I was aghast that I had no idea how these businesses would be paid!
"That'll be Booster's problem," replied Iella, perfunctorily. "For all we know, he already paid Calire."
Wedge was giggling, "It'd almost be worth selling tickets to the fireworks when Booster wants his credits back!"
Now, I'm normally on the side of justice, but I had to admit that I was savoring the thrashing Calire would experience! I actually smiled.
"There, there," cheered Iella, "see how good a smile feels?"
I grinned, "Thanks ... and I'm sorry I was such a sad sack. Thanks for your help ..."
Wedge poked me, "We're not done ... I think we have enough cakes and pies to feed everyone ... we'll do the variety schpiel so people will think we did it on purpose."
"Um ... is there still a problem, then?" It sounded finished and okay to me!
I swung my head the other way as Iella poked me from the other side. "And what do you suppose you and Mirax will cut into? A palli crumble?"
I tried to picture it, and realized that they could not find a cake ... for show! My voice squeaked a bit as I imagined my hand getting hacked off. I'd be holding the pie or pastry or whatever baked concoction, and Mirax would slice my hand clean-off with the cake knife!
"So, you're saying that I may have to cut into a ...?"
"Wait ... we have some good news, some great news ... and some bad news," explained Wedge. "The good news, you've already heard. The great news, is we located a bakery that can supply a full-fledged, multi-tier, feeds nearly 1000, show-stopper wedding cake. They had one on their schedule, but the gig was cancelled at the last minute the bride either ran off or didn't like it ... it wasn't really clear and there was no point in asking for details. We don't know what it looks like ..."
"Wow!" I was really impressed at the work my groomsmen had done to get me out of this hole. "If that's the bad news that we don't know what it looks like I don't think that's so bad!" I was pretty happy at that moment.
"Corran, stupidity doesn't become you," hissed Iella. "Bad means bad, not the icing might be the wrong color!"
My heart sunk. My old partner would not josh me about this. It must be really bad. "Hit me," I whispered.
"You heard me. That bakery on the edge of Treasureship Row, they make awesome orbit-cake pastries, the ones with the holes in their middles?" Iella was referring to a pastry that I was obsessed with. There was this huge bakery in a run-down section of Coronet City that supplied pastries to every fancy-schmancy restaurant on Corellia. They also sold these ring-shaped orbit-cakes by the dozen, though if you were Corsec, they have them to you free with a cup of mediocre caf ... it was a delectable combination.
Seeing the emotions cross my face as I remembered the orbit-cakes, Iella nodded. "They also make wedding cakes. Like Wedge just said, they had one that was scrubbed at the last minute, the bride apparently hated it. Was too outré or it was the wrong color ... so it's there, they know Booster, they said we can just pick it up ..."
"Oh ... oh!" I suddenly understood. Picking up the cake was impossible for me. Or for Iella, or Wedge! We were all wanted for crimes against the Empire, and Corellia was still aligned with the Empire. If we got within a thousand klicks of the system, we'd be chased down. And if they caught us, it'd be ugly!
I frowned and Iella pinched me. "If you cry again, Corran, I swear ..."
"Ow!" I knew I'd be covered in bruises which I'd need to explain to my wife. "Stop it! I'm sober now, I'm fine! I'm just trying to figure out how to get from here to there and back again in time to get dressed for the wedding ..."
"You know," interrupted Wedge, "I'll bet if you're so much as a few seconds late and Mirax arrives at the altar before you, we'd be celebrating your divorce or execution at the reception ..."
The best man had a point. There was less than a week to the wedding, if you count the hours. A round trip to Corellia and back even assuming no problems in the sky or on the ground takes a few days, not counting pick-up, refueling, orbital delays ...
And we might get arrested and jailed, of course. Or run into people we don't want to attend a tea party with ... I doubt Mirax or Booster would accept that as an adequate excuse. What's worse, Booster might even enjoy the prospect of me in jail ...
"I think we have to find someone on Corellia right now who can pick up the cake and bring it here," pointed out Iella. "It'd save the entry trip time and hassles, at least."
"Any ideas?" I asked. "I seem to have burned a lot of bridges the last time I was in-system there ..."
Wedge laughed, "Even your grandfather?"
"Rostek?" Iella sounded surprised. "Um ... Horn, did you tell ..."
I looked down at the table. "Um ... no ... he doesn't know ..."
Wedge raised one eyebrow at me, "Um ... why?"
I saw Iella catch his eye and subtly shake her head at Wedge, signalling him to drop the subject.
She understood ... I hadn't been able to figure out how to tell one of the top Corsec men that I'm related to a criminal who my father arrested and sent to Kessel ...
"Um ... okay ... so we don't have any Horn relatives to ask deliver the cake. You know, it'd be best if it was someone coming to the wedding anyway." Wedge was using his brain, thankfully. "Oh, and it'd be good if it was someone who likely hasn't gotten you a wedding gift yet. Being courier would be gift enough, I'd think."
Iella laughed, "So we need a cheapskate procrastinator who's coming to the wedding. Why, that sounds like Booster!"
I winced, "No ... no! Don't even joke about that! One more requirement someone who won't tell Booster!"
We giggled, then went silent as we tried to come up with a candidate.
We went through several more rounds of lomin but really didn't come up with any good candidates. Any Jedi were still considered enemies of the Empire. Anyone in the smuggling business would eventually be connected back to Booster. And anyone else would need access to a starship with adequate cargospace. And not be wanted in the Corellian system.
Sporting a buzz, Wedge finally said, "I think we should talk to Han."
"He's a smuggler," I commented. "And wanted. And married into a Jedi family. Who are public enemies numbers one and two to the Empire. Didn't we talk about this?"
Iella elbowed me in the ribs. "I told you, Horn, stupidity doesn't suit you so well. Wedge, I was wondering the same thing. We know Han's been back on Corellia several times, and he likely has a contact, right?"
Wedge was nodding, "Yeah, plus I need to take a walk anyway. As much as I'm enjoying your company, Iella ..."
She shoved hard into me, who fell into Wedge, who got dumped out of the booth seat and onto the floor of the tapcaf. He giggled, looking totally smitten.
* * * * *
Han Solo had rented a room for his time on Coruscant. He usually lived on his beloved ship, the Millennium Falcon, but at the moment, the ship was with Princess Leia. It all sounded very complicated, so I was told not to ask.
We were all squeezed into Han's small room, sitting on his bed or on the floor. I let Wedge explain about the problems: the lack of cake, Booster's and Mirax's threat, the locating of a cake, pick-up of the cake ...
Han, looking nothing like a General in his disheveled state, nodded thoughtfully, then said, "Kirney Slane."
Wedge's face lit up. "Of course! She is on Corellia and owns ... what did she say? A cargo freight company? But ... wouldn't she have trouble entering Coruscant?"
Han shrugged, "I'd think with her skills, she could enter anyplace she wished with less trouble than ... well, than Horn over here is in right now."
"Who ..." I wanted to ask who Kirney Slane was. Han ignored me, but Wedge explained, "A friend ... Han and I met her during the Zsinj campaign. Hey, Han, do you recall her comm code?"
Iella excused me and her from the room and dragged me out. I had wanted to know more about Kirney Slane, but Iella seemed determined to take me somewhere. When I was slow to respond, she actually dragged me by pinching the skin under my arm again! "Ow! Will you stop that, that's going to leave a mark!" I complained.
Iella glared at me. "The General signaled for us to leave, so we left."
"He did?" I was confused. I certainly didn't see a signal!
She sighed as we left the building. "Horn, were you always this clueless? I don't remember you being this bad before we ... left the homeworld. Is this what marriage does to a man?"
"Huh? Worse? Am I worse? What do you mean?" By now, she'd let go of me and was walking rapidly up the street.
I was forced to run after her to keep up with her stride.
* * * * *
Iella commed to summon me to a high-sky level docking bay to pick up the cake, and was I ever met with a surprise! I never thought I'd be looking up at a Gamorrean, or down at an Ewok as they unloaded a huge packing case from their starship. It was a motley crew of various alien species. Normally, though they'd be considered sentient, I would not have thought they'd be able to fly starships or manage a cargo company. I wondered which of them was Kirney Slane?
In fact, I was so fascinated with the unusual crew that I wasted my time chatting to them instead of inspecting the shipment.
I really had wanted to meet her, to thank her for picking up the cake, but I was reminded by Iella that I had precious little time. The wedding ceremony was in six hours, and it would take me two hours to get the huge packing case containing the cake to the reception site. I didn't really even have time to open the case to make sure the cake was all right ...
It all went without a hitch, and I'm truly grateful. I managed to deliver the enormous case containing the cake, I got back in time to refresh and dress, my groomsmen both Iella and Wedge looked gorgeous, both individually and together the ceremony was beautiful, and Mirax looked nervous and happy. Really, she seemed more relaxed than I'd seen her in months.
We got to the reception hall and we were greeted by the guests who were already there ahead of us. There was so much to do and so many to see that I had actually forgotten about the cake ... until Booster tapped on my shoulder. "Mirax, can I borrow your husband for a moment?"
Following Booster, my heart sunk ... the cake! I'd forgotten to check on the cake! I hadn't even had a chance to see it. Was it damaged? Was the icing truly hideous?
"Where did it come from, Corsec?" Booster went straight to the point. He had to; we were both in a coat closet, where he could speak to me without causing much of a scene.
"Um ..." I thought about playing dumb, but Booster had me by the lapels ...
"N ... Not Calire ... she forgot to make the cake ... Wedge and Iella found a bakery ..."
"She forgot the cake? Why that ... why didn't you tell me, Horn?" Booster was growling and snarling at me!
"Because ... because I didn't want Mirax to be a widow," I managed to choke out. "Booster, put me down! I haven't seen the cake ..."
I found myself lying on the ground. Nothing seemed to be broken, and I didn't seem to be injured. I later figured out that Booster had opened the door and shoved me out in his fury to get to Calire. I wish I'd been there when he confronted her!
I got up quickly and ran back to the reception hall to find my wife. As long as I stayed visible to the guests, Booster would not likely hurt me in front of them ...
But first, I needed to look at the cake ... and my heart hiccuped!
It wasn't a cake ... it was a trifle!
Not a trifle, as in a piddling thing ... it was huge, actually. It was multi-tiered. And I likely would not have to risk losing my hand when it was cut, for Mirax would have to use a spoon to scoop out a serving ...
It had been arranged artfully indeed, so that it resembled a wedding cake. And guests would be able to take their own individual serving. It was actually quite pretty and opulent. The large crystal bowl on top obviously was the showpiece.
I stood staring at it, wondering what Mirax would say ...
Ah well ... it could've been worse, I suppose.
And hey, I'm ex-Corsec. I've interrogated lots of highly intelligent criminal masterminds, and I'd been able to bluff my way into their minds. Bluffing my way through this wedding blunder should be ... a piece of cake, right?
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