Star Wars: Ruminations
In tradition with my two other thought-pieces for NJO, Ive decided to write a short piece on Obi-Wans thoughts four years after the Jedi Purge and the birth of the Galactic Empire.
Cold air greeted me every day and this day was no different; turning rapidly into a hot dry air that would make the inhabitants on Talasea shrivel up from the lack of water. But for the last four years of my life, arid Tatooine has been my home and my exile.
As I got up, wrapping my dark brown homespun robe around me to keep my body heat in until the twin suns rose to their half-zenith, I wandered out of the little hovel I had built with my own hands and into the cool morning air. I stared at the jagged cliffs and canyons that were my scenery for the last four years, and let my thoughts wander.
Has it really been so long since his betrayal?
To me, Anakins turn to the dark side still felt like it was yesterday. It was still an ache in my heart even though I had devoted myself to the Jedi way and relinquished all hold on possessions or people. But that was just a lie on my part. Master Yoda was correct, I had to name my fear before it could be dispelled but to let go of my brother, my best friend ... I couldnt. Not after all that weve been through.
That was why the dull ache in my heart hadnt settled in the past four years. A Jedi couldnt have any attachments, but I was also human enough to realize that there had to be some attachment between Master and apprentice, between comrades in arms. We were Anakin and Obi-Wan back in the Clone Wars. Inseparable and brothers.
You were my brother, Anakin, I whispered as I stared out at the first of the rising twin suns. But I couldnt save you ...
You say that to yourself every day, Obi-Wan, a soft voice suddenly spoke next to me and I felt the luminous presence of the Force surrounding the person. Glancing to my left I saw my former Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, standing next to me, arms crossed, except he was blue hued and a bit transparent. Ever since his death on Naboo, he was just a luminous creature of the Force.
Qui-Gon, I greeted him. It still felt a little weird calling my master by his first name without titles. Before my exile to this planet, Master Yoda taught me how to communicate with my master through the Force, though I would have to keep it at minimal as not to attract any dark Jedi from sensing me. Master Yoda, on the other hand, has it easier. The planet he chose was luminous and rich in both the light and dark side of the Force, a perfect cover for one as powerful as he is.
Obi-Wan, he did bring balance to the Force. A thousand years of peace and of the light side must be countered by the dark side, Qui-Gon also looked out into the desert scenery.
I know, I replied before sighing deeply and scratched my beard, but he was still my apprentice. I failed him ... both as a Master and as a brother.
No, Obi-Wan, my former master placed a hand on my shoulder, though I didnt even feel it, you havent failed him. Youve have just begun his path to redemption.
Hmmm, I quirked a small smile at his statement, little Luke.
And his daughter, Leia.
From what I gather through the news, Bails doing a very good job in raising Leia to become one of the sharpest politicians ever.
She is more like her mother, Qui-Gon agreed.
But from what the press releases are showing, she has her fathers wit. Already at four, shes capricious.
They will be the next hope for the Rebellion, my master started to fade away.
Thank you, Qui-Gon, I called out before he disappeared, leaving me alone once more. I didnt know where Qui-Gon went, but I sensed that he was either talking with Yoda or helping another Jedi who survived the purge reach safe haven.
After that conversation with him, I felt a lot better, but the dull ache still hadnt gone away. I suspected that it would never go, until the day I die. I huffed another sigh, I sat down on the dusty gravelly ground and folded my legs underneath me.
I sank deep into the Force to meditate and extended my senses out slowly. I had to be careful using the Force as Anakin no, Darth Vader, he was Anakin no more knew about Tatooine having grown up here. So far, in all of the press releases from Coruscant about Vader, there was no hint he was going near Tatooine and it comforted me.
It showed me that there was still, perhaps, a spark of good within Anakin like Padmé had said, either that Vader didnt want to deal with this backwater planet. Tatooine was still a planet for rogues and for the Hutts to rule over so perhaps the Empire didnt want to touch it.
Extending my senses slowly, the first lifeforce I felt was my eopie, Siri, and farther out some womp rats and the pack of wild banthas that usually roamed the upper region of the Jundland Wastes. Reaching further, I felt the incredibly strong, but slightly lazy lifeforce of the family of Krayt Dragons that nested in one of the corners of the Wastes. They usually attacked the herd of banthas that happened their way for quick meals.
Spreading out in the other direction I could feel a camp of Tusken Raiders that seemed a lot closer than they were just a few weeks ago. They were getting bolder and they probably scouted me out. I made a mental note to deal with them peaceably if they got too close. I stretched my senses all the way to a small moisture farm a few kilometers away from the nearest town, Tosche Station. There I felt at least five lifeforms. Two were workers on the farm, the other two were known to me. The last one drew a smile to my face.
Little Luke Skywalker was already radiating a powerful presence in the Force, as if he was a waterfall that didnt know how to control itself. I sensed that he was tinkering with something in his hands, his fingers barely gripping the hydrospanner and my smile widened. He was so much like his father, curious, adventurous, and a hint of cockiness that I knew so well.
The child was going to be a pilot, I could see it. And he would become one hell of hot hand in a fighter, just like his father. Reaching out towards Luke, I touched his Force awareness and pressed it down, masking it so he wouldnt be a giant beacon to Vaders dark Jedi. I did it gently and slowly, so not to startle the child.
After it was done, I lingered just a bit longer, just to see what the child was up to, but he was completely absorbed in his repair of the object he was holding so I retreated back into myself. Opening my eyes I stood up, feeling the heat of the twin suns on my face. It was going to be another day in the blast furnace that was this planet.
Shedding my robe, I reached out with the Force and summoned my lightsaber to my hand. It came zipping out of my hovel and as soon as its hilt hit my palm, I activated it and started a series of lunges and katas.
It was almost routine for me to practice in the mornings. Even with the war over, I still couldnt shake the training that had been instilled in me. Before the war, I was able to just mediate, but after four years of fighting on the front lines, it was hard to shake it off.
As I leapt through a series of flips, lunges, and stabs, I could feel the Force alive around me. It felt good to bathe in its power, but I kept it at such a trickle to keep my presence hidden. Finishing up, I could feel sweat pouring down my face and wiped it away with my sleeve. Deactivating my lightsaber, I walked back into my hovel and set it down at an end table near my bed.
Next to it sat a lightsaber that was completely different in design and more like Qui-Gons. I brushed my hand over it before picking it up. Anakins lightsaber was a masterpiece as is with all Jedis lightsabers. I didnt know why I kept it, but I figured when Luke became of age, I would give it to him. The hilt of the saber was too wide for my own tastes, but it suited the broad fingers of Qui-Gon and Anakins. Thats probably why he chose that design. I preferred a narrower design on my saber.
Setting the saber down, I shook my head to clear my wandering thoughts. As Master Yoda and Qui-Gon had said, it wasnt good to dwell on such thoughts. I had to be mindful of the Force. Grabbing clean clothing from the small closet I had built into the hovel, I headed to the refresher station to get cleaned up for a new day visiting Tosche Station, Anchorhead, and Mos Eisley before checking up on the Lars homestead.
This is my life now.
I am Obi-Wan Kenobi, exiled Jedi.
After watching Ep. III on opening day, I wanted to write fanfic so badly that I made several attempts before I realized that I want to channel Obi-Wan. Hes just such a great character who was first played brilliantly by Sir Alec Guinness and again by Ewan MacGregor. I hope you liked it and please leave comments! I dont usually write first person, so its a bit hard for me ...
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