My Sun-Eyed Girl Rating: R
Diana DeRiggs

This is sort of a songfic, as the genre has been referred, in that it was inspired by the lines of a song. This happens often of course, but the song in particular is "Girl" by Beck, which sounds like a fresh, happy lovesong. But listen to the words, and the bouncy, bright melody suddenly becomes macabre as he sings, "I know I'm going to make her die, Take her where her soul belongs," and "I saw her, yea I saw her With her black tongue tied round the roses." It occured to me that this mindset described Myn Donos when he learned that the woman he adored was the woman who had previously ruined his life. Unstable as he was, how would he have processed that fact?

Myn Donos knew he was a condemned man. He'd shot at a squadronmate, and it was clearly not an accidental case of "friendly fire." And what's more, when his commanding officer got between him and his target, Myn did not back down, keeping his guns open and locked.

Get out of the way! Myn had hollered, though perhaps the warning had reverbrated only in his own mind. I've got my suns locked on her head! I'll bore them right into her eyes, right through the back of her damned head!

Or maybe he had said it out loud? He couldn't really remember, but as he was escorted back to the docking bay, Myn knew he was in trouble.

He couldn't really think about it. He didn't want to. He wanted to kill that woman! Better than shooting her out of space, I'll tie a noose around her neck, watch her go purple ... then black ... gouge her eyes out and replace them with roses ...

As he passed through the magcon shield, he wondered if he would rush out of his craft and evade capture? Or perhaps would he make them come after him while he sits calmly in his piloting couch?

A part of his mind was still rational; he knew he could do neither of these things. He would likely be arrested and courtmartialed, and never be allowed to fly again. This saddened him.

It was all that Gara Petothel's fault! She killed Lara!

Lara Notsil was a woman whom Myn found himself attracted to, and she to him. The truth was, however, that she was undercover, trying to break through the New Republic's military structure. She intended to sell her services and knowledge to an Imperial warlord like Zsinj, perhaps.

As Gara Petothel, she had been working as a slicer for the New Republic and caused the ambush and destruction of Talon Squadron, the former command of Myn Donos. He was the only squad survivor left in that battle. The defeat shamed him and caused him to lose not only his command, but also his hold on sanity.

Gara murdered Lara! The crazed thought kept running around in dark circles in Myn's shattered mind. He couldn't process that they were the same person ...

He didn't really remember how he left his starfighter, nor how he ended up locked up in his room. He wondered why he wasn't in the brig. He knew he'd done something wrong, but his mind struggled to reconcile the disparate facts he knew.

Why am I being arrested? Do they think I killed Lara?

He remembered overriding the alarms sounding in his ship, manually targetting the small craft which held his nemesis. He remember deliberately aiming for where her neck should be, the more easily to completely sever and explode her head. Myn Donos was one of Corellia's finest sharpshooters and snipers. Even with laser-guns bigger than any rifle he'd ever hefted, he knew he could make the shot.

As he paced his small room, he remembered that he'd bought a box of sweets, famous among children because you could expect a toy prize in it. He'd intended to share the box with Lara. He looked at the still-sealed box on his desk in his room, and wondered what prize could be held within?

Then he hurled the box against the wall! It shattered, scattering caramels and hard sugar balls everywhere, which either squished or rattled as they made impact on the hard wall and floor. It's just as well Myn was an officer; he got his own room, so that no one would mind the mess he was making.

His eyes tracked around the room, looking for the prize ... he scrabbled around the floor, looking at every piece of candy till he came upon it — a toy plasteen ring with a big fake bright yellow synthstone embedded in it ...

Myn put it on his finger — it only fit on the first joint of his pinky — and started to weep. It would have been a perfect, childish gift to give to Lara! He could see her in his mind's eye, wearing this toy ring as they sat together in the mess. Or when they were sitting in the supply room practicing shooting at targets. Or maybe it would be the only thing left on her body when they made love ...

He pounded the floor in frustration and sobbed loudly. That bitch! She killed Lara!

And his commander had blocked his shot! He needed to kill Gara Petothel for what she'd done to his love!

He should have hopped out of his ship and ran right over his commander, and wrenched Gara's canopy open! He would have put his fingers around her neck, watched as her tongue lolled out, all blackened from lack of air. He'd tie a cord around her neck, pull her arms back with the same rope, make her strangle herself as she struggled to get free!

He'd shoot her with a low energy pulse, so that her clothing caught fire and he laughed as she became charred and the liquids under her skin boiled from the heat and lack of air!

Myn would even laugh as she spit and choked, trying to get away from him; he selectively ignored the ludicrousness of his fantasy. He'd give her some air now and again, so that she'd live ... so he could kill her over and over ... at least one time for every pilot on Talon Squadron ... for his dead squadmates from this squadron ... and most of all for Lara ...

For Lara, he'd make Gara's eyes bulge out almost all the way out of their sockets! Make them go bright, bright, bright, like a blazingg sun, brightest just before it extinguished! When they became all bloodshot from the bursting vessels behind her eyes, he'd continue to toy with her. He'd make her eyes brighten with tears and panic, again and again, till they burned out of her sockets. Just like the sun of my life, just like Lara!

And even after she died, he'd keep the body till the bones were bleached and empty, just so he could hear them snap as he broke them with his bare hands!

That's what you get, he seethed, you killed my sun-eyed girl! I'll ferry you to where your soul belongs ... and you'll pay with the currency of your own eyes ...!

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