Jade's Scion: Chapter 31 Jysella
Jysella opens her eyes, and finds herself looking into Cal's stormy grey ones.
"What did you see child?"
"I saw." Jysella closes her eyes, hiding the pain she feels. "I saw my dad. He, he was doing something. Something horrible."
"That I'm not entirely sure of." She instinctively rubs her shoulders and arms as her body shivers from the chill she is feeling, even in the warm hold of the ship.
"The green room?"
Jysella winces as an image of her being pushed into one of the strange capsules flashes through her mind, the feelings of pain and betrayal stab into her heart. Nodding she mumbles "Yes."
"What can you remember of the room?"
Jysella frowns. "I don't WANT to remember the room."
Cal's voice turns stern and harsh. "That doesn't matter. You are a Jedi, what you want is immaterial."
Without thinking, Jysella punches Cal in the face, bloodying her nose. "What I want is not immaterial. Jedi or not, I am human with a human's wants and desires."
Getting up and retrieving a napkin to press against her nose, Cal calls out over her shoulder, "If your want and desires are important then why are love and attachments so bad?"
"They're bad because they lead to greed; you start wanting more and more until you can no longer stop."
"And what is wrong with greed?"
"It controls you, makes you do things to get what you want."
Cal walks back to her, still dabbing her nose. "So does the Force."
Jysella opens her mouth, and then snaps it shut, thinking hard. "So what is your view on attachments?"
Cal smile is visible around the napkin. "I think that you are human, and will form attachments regardless of who or what says they are good or bad. It is your attachments to others which allow you to grow, to become a better person. Think about this, it is Tycho's and Winter's attachment to you, regardless of the fact that you don't remember them and all the things they did for you throughout your life, which drives them to escort you to the Venture, on the drop of a hat like this. So you tell me, is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
Jysella rocks back where she is sitting, having never even considering that. When she issued the orders to be taken to the Errant Venture, she had considered herself speaking as a Jedi, and as such was used to having her orders listened to. "I think it is both. It's good that they are willing to sacrifice of themselves like that to help me, but bad because they place so much power into my hands through that sacrifice."
Cal reaches out and grasps her shoulder, lowering the napkin from her nose, a smile gracing her face. "And you are now beginning to once more understand what it means to be human."
"I, I don't understand?"
"Your training at the Jedi Academy taught you certain things, things like: you should always be calm, you should not have attachments, and that you should put what the Jedi Council says above all other things, correct?"
Jysella hesitantly nods her head. "Right."
"That training is required because it goes against all sentient species natural inclinations. We are all greedy selfish beings, and it is the civilization provided by whoever raised us, which shapes those primal urges into shapes and forms useful to society. Yet in the case of the Jedi, it trains you to be automatons, emotionless drones at the beck and call of the Jedi Council."
"But." Jysella closes her mouth, thinking of how she wishes to reply. "But we're not emotionless drones, we're taught to calm our emotions and to not let them control us."
Cal's smile turns sly. "Is there a difference?"
"Then why would you let your fear of the green room keep you from telling me more about it?"
Jysella looks down at the floor, at a loss for how she ended up defending the position Cal took which caused her to punch the older woman in the face. Looking up at the older woman, Jysella once more feels at a loss for words. "What's wrong with me?"
Cal smiles down at her, once more appearing as a kindly old woman, almost grandmotherly. "Nothing at all is wrong with you. It is the training that you have suffered under which is at fault."
"And what is wrong with the training?"
"Everything and nothing." Holding her arms out to either side of her, and looking back and forth she continues speaking, "Look around you, you are on this ship speeding through space to another ship, all because of attachments. I tell you this, attachments and love, are good and essential things for everyone. And at one time, even your Grand Master knew this universal truth."
"But what of the Dark?"
Lowering her hands, Cal's face once more becomes serious and somber. "The Dark Side waits in everything. If we are not careful, love turns to jealousy, attachment to greed, anger to rage, and compassion to uncaring. Through the good things in life, you can be hurt and you can and will be given the desire to hurt others, but ultimately it boils down to the choices you make. Embrace the attachments, embrace the love, knowing full well that it may cause you pain and heartache, but do so full in the knowledge that if you fall to the Dark Side, that it was not the attachments that caused it, but you not being strong enough to know when to let go."
Standing she begins to walk from the room, stopping in the doorway she looks back at Jysella. "Just remember, there is a Dark Side and it whispers to us all, and will turn anything that is good and helpful to harm if you allow it too, if you allow it to gain a foothold within you. That is the simple truth which those on the Council have forgotten."
The turning, she leaves the room, leaving Jysella sitting in the middle of the floor lost in her thoughts.
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