Jade's Scion: Chapter 10 Sannah
"At milady's command."
Sannah can feel the warmth and happiness that Valin feels in the Force as he speaks those words. She can feel that he is happy to once more be doing something, to have a place to go, a direction to take. She can feel a little seed of warmth in her heart for helping her longtime friend like this. It is a crack in the cold and fear that she has lived with for the past twenty-eight years, since she never started her transformation.
Plus she likes the sound of his voice when he's happy.
She can feel the warming of her hands again and once more shoves them into her robe sleeves. Silently she wonders why she keeps blushing when she's around him.
She watches him as he deftly manipulates the controls, in slight awe of his aptitude with the spacecraft. Absently she wishes that her gifts leaned towards flying, but quickly dismiss such wishes from her mind. She is a Jedi and is happy with her gifts.
As they enter hyperspace with a flash, she sees Valin sit back in his chair, and can feel his anger and loneliness flood the Force. It hurts that little seed of happiness that was beginning to take root in her heart.
She unbuckles her restraints and gets up from her chair. She kneels down beside him and notices that his eyes are somewhat glazed. She just assumes that he is lost in his dark thoughts. She feels the need to reassure him, to give him some comfort while he is hurting.
She gently kisses the his cheek, a feather-light brush of her lips, and then moves her mouth to be close to his ear and whispers, "It will be okay Valin."
Then in a quick movement, she stands up, and rushes from the room. She can feel the blush going from the tips of her fingers to her elbows, and is inordinately glad for the long sleeves of her Jedi robe.
She enters the galley and begins preparing a light meal for them both, absently humming a melodian funeral song.
"You should sing it."
She jumps slightly dropping the fruit she was cutting up, and looks at Valin. "Oh! You scared me."
"I'm sorry, can I help you finish making lunch."
She smiles at the offer. "No, you got us into hyperspace; the least I can do is prepare lunch."
She finishes, and passes him a plate. As she eats, she pays attention to her plate, keeping her head and eyes down, not quite trusting herself to not blush if she looks him in the eyes.
"Sannah, I've not been a good friend have I?"
With a start, her head pops up and Valin's eyes catch her own. "Why do you say that?"
She notices his nervousness, as he looks away from her and replies, "Well, you've been sad and miserable for nearly thirty years now, and I've done nothing to help you in that." He looks down at his plate, and she can feel a burst of shame come off of him. "I didn't even know."
She reaches out and takes his hand. "It's okay Valin. Sometimes I wonder if anyone did."
She laughs lightly before continuing. "Sometimes, I wonder if the Council even remembers I am a Jedi. I was shocked when you came to me saying the Council had a mission for me. I don't think I've even seen the Grand Master since the Swarm War."
"What have you been doing all these years?"
"Officially, I'm part of the library staff, but mostly I sit by the fountains, wishing I could transform."
She can feel her grief well up within her, it is familiar and comfortable. "Wishing I could bear young."
As she feels Valin's hand give hers a gentle squeeze, she does something that she has not done in far too long. She cries.
She almost despairs, as Valin pulls his hand from hers, but his presence is gone only moments, as she feels his arms around her. She grabs his robes and buries her head into his shoulder, letting the tears flow freely, sobbing away her pain.
As the tears finally slow down, she finally lifts her head up and looks at Valin once more. "I'm sorry about that."
She feels his fingers on her face as they gently brush away her tears. "Nothing to be sorry about, it was my fault for upsetting you, for bringing it up."
"What happened to us Valin? When we were all at the Academy, we were all so happy and carefree. It seemed like nothing could hurt us, like we were invincible."
She watches as he shakes his head. "I think it has to do with Anakin."
She is confused by that statement, unsure of how to respond. "What do you mean?"
"Remember what it was like when he was around? He carried himself through all those adventures we had, and I think he might have carried all of us through them too."
She almost grabs him again, as he releases her to lean against the counter, but she hesitates as he once more begins talking. "I just know that after Myrkr everything changed, everything got darker. As if without Anakin there to stop it, darkness was able to creep into the Force and into the Jedi."
She can feel her breath catch as he turns and catches her eyes with his, she feels lost in the sparkling blue of his eyes. "Except for you. You still seem so innocent. Untroubled, untouched by the darkness."
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