It Was Just Him Rating: PG
Artemis Actaeon

Kell wasn't surprised that none of his things were left in the apartment. He wasn't surprised at his wife's anger. He'd always been attracted to Tyria's passion, and even enjoyed her insecurity in herself. It made him feel important in her life.

So, why had he cheated on her?

Perhaps, simply because he could? Did it make him feel powerful? Was it just for the sex?

Dia is a beautiful woman, for sure. And so convenient — they worked together. He'd tapped her a few times in the past, before they'd become part of New Republic Intelligence. But after she and their commander had become an item, he kept away.

Besides, saying he'd fucked her before didn't make it right in these conditions. Timing is everything, and he'd sworn he'd left that part of himself behind, years ago.

He could claim they were on a mission together, and the intimacy was required to convince the infiltrated team of their relationship. But he hadn't lied to his wife before, exposing himself in ways that his mother and his sister would not recognize. Having been raised by women, he respected them as a group. Having promised himself to her, he couldn't bring himself to lie to her.

Besides, she was a Jedi and a Topwaran Ranger; she'd see through his lies. And though he could physically subdue her, she'd hurt him for it. He didn't want to regret anything.

They had a son together, newly born. They'd named him "Doran," Kell's original family name. Certainly, he had intended to stay with Tyria; they had made a child together!

Did he mean to replace Tyria with Dia in his life? Certainly not!

He had to admit he didn't know why he'd done it. It was an opportunity, and it was nothing that Tyria had done or not done. He wasn't needy or upset with anything. Dia was there, sparks flew, and he found himself not only bedding her, but taking her to nightclubs, wining and dining her.

Yet he had to admit, as sparkling as she was, as unlike Tyria as she was, he felt somewhat alone through it all. He could have just gone out by himself. Just himself. It was just about him.

How to explain this about himself to her? What words are there?

Perhaps silence would be best — atonement through acceptance of her accusations. Say nothing, swear nothing, and absorb the blows to come.

If nothing else, Kell knew the anger of a woman could subside as long as the man didn't keep stoking it. He'd learned that from his sisters, and was grateful for the education!

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