Ground Hog Rating: NC-17/Slash
Diana DeRiggs & Mace Vindaloo

"If you had to pick a place to hide from the Empire, this seems to be a good one -- they'd have trouble finding you holed up here!"

Wedge Antilles sighed, "It's been hard. Who would have thought that cold could be so damp or musty? You'd think that something this cold would be clean, eh?"

Tycho Celchu, newly arrived pilot, nodded, "You know, the Empire never trained us officer-types for cold weather, though I know they have 'snowtrooper' uniforms. I guess a full bodysuit is a full bodysuit, and it's not much different from working in hard vacuum. So hiding on an iceball isn't a bad choice."

"The dampness of these caves will rub down that enthusiasm right quick, so keep your cheer for when you need it." Wedge lead the new man down the officers' barracks corridor, "Sorry that we can't offer private accommodation for officers -- we don't know how long we'll be here, after all."

Tycho waved Wedge's concern away, "Understood, though if I hate my roommates, I imagine I could always carve out a room for myself out of the ice?"

The two men shared a laugh. Gosh, it's been a while since I've laughed, Wedge thought with wonder, I hope I'm not turning into a grumpy old man. I like this guy, I hope I get to hang out with him.

"Hope you're into cold," Wedge was still giggling, "there's no insulation or surfacing, not even flooring. No need for curtains because there are no windows."

Tycho smiled, "Sounds like the bottom level of Coruscant. Or freshman barracks at the Academy! I'll be fine, don't worry about me, I've been through it already!"

"Oh, I forgot to mention," Wedge perked up at the mention of the Imperial military academy, knowing Tycho would be surprised, "one of your roommates is an old classmate of yours, he went to the Academy on Prebsvelt IV about the same time as you ... do you know Derek Klivian?"

The other man stopped short and looked gratifyingly startled, "Hobbie?!?? He's alive??"

Wedge was satisfied with the reaction and laughed again, "Yeah, he's been with us the past four years. He and Wes Janson are part of our very short list of officers, I'm afraid -- that's why we were so keen to have you with us. That, and you're a hot shot, from what I hear!"

The joy on Tycho's face was indescribable. "He's alive! That's ... why, that's amazing! My Hobbie is still alive!" Then he grew more somber, "But ... how about ... we had another classmate whom I know defected ... Biggs Darklighter? Do you know anything about him?"

Wedge cast his eyes downward, and tried not to mumble, "Sorry ... he died four years ago, over the Death Star ... I flew with him on ..." He choked, remembering watching helplessly as TIE fighters shot Biggs down ...

Tycho's eyes sprung unexpected tears, "I ... when you didn't mention Biggs ... well, I guess I knew." He wiped the tears from his cheeks, "Well, no use meditating on the past; what's done is done. But Hobbie! I can't believe he's still okay! Does he know I'm here?"

"No," Wedge wiped his nose and shook his head, happy to be dispelling the mournful mood. "He and Lieutenant Wes Janson know to expect a new officer in their bunking situation, but we didn't know who you were till you landed. Security, you understand? Plus we never know who will eventually make it here ..."

"So it'll be a great surprise!" Tycho was unfazed by Wedge's explanation, "Boy, won't he be surprised to see me!" Tycho had regained his cheerful attitude.

The stopped before a door at the end of the corridor. "Well, here it is! Your hidey-hole on this iceball!" Wedge hit a sequence on the door's security pad, and was surprised to find it locked. He tapped in an override sequence, "Bet they're still tidying up; they're slobs at the best of times, I'm afraid. Maybe you can whip them into shape? It won't be easy, tho--- Hobbie! Wes!"

The officer's bunks were modest -- a simple room with no windows, not a suite of rooms as was traditional. So when a person opened the door, everything there to see, could be seen plainly. The room was indeed a mess, but on the bottom part of the multi-level bunkbed, Lieutenants Klivian and Janson were on their hands and knees, grunting and panting, partaking in what could best be described as an animalistic rutting.

"Wedge! Don't you know how to knock?" The hirsute, dark-haired man on top looked annoyed, but it didn't stop the rhythm he was maintaining as he pumped his stiff member in and out of the other's rectum.

Tycho stood at the doorway with his mouth agape. "Hobbie?"

At the mention of his nickname, the blond pilot beneath the other opened his eyes, "Tycho? Tycho Celchu?? Ohmigosh, how the hell are you doing???" He tried to get up but his partner grunted and held him down.

"Hobbie, I'm not done yet, dammit!" Wes was frantic.

"Wes, get off me, it's Tycho! We went to the Academy together!" Hobbie squirmed out from under the frustrated man and ran naked to his old friend with his arms outstretched. "Tycho, Tycho, Tycho, you're okay, you're alive!"

As the naked man embraced him, Tycho was paralysed with shock. What was going on here??

Hobbie let go of his friend, "Tycho? Aren't you happy to see me? It's me, buddy! You know, your favorite "hobby"?" He winked at the man, hoping to get a reaction out of him. "Oh, come on! You misspent all your free time with me! Taught me the basics of how to make a daisy chai--"

"Hobs," Wedge cleared his throat, "you're naked."

Hobbie looked down at himself, "And so I am! But that shouldn't be a problem, Tycho's seen me naked plenty of times! Hell, we were on Prebsvelt IV together!" He grabbed the bags that Tycho had been lugging and pulled them into the room, "We saved the best bunk for you ... oh, you won't mind that we were using it though? Wes, get off Tycho's bunk! And stop that!"

Wes was oblivious to the others in the room. Such was his level of horniess that he was masturbating himself furiously, trying to orgasm. "Argh!!!" he cried as he reached his climax.

"Oh, gross!" Hobbie was furious, "You are messing up the Captain's bed!"

"Aaahhh ... wow, that was GOOD!" sighed Wes. His penis softened as he lay back with his eyes closed. "Wedge, I don't know how you did it, but begin caught like that, wow! What a turn-on!"

Red-faced, Wedge turned to the new pilot and said quietly, "Captain, my apologies. This never happe--"

"Liar! What do you mean, never? Like you never saw us doing that!" Wes propped himself up on his elbows, "Me and Hobbie are goin' steady, you know it!"

Finally, Tycho found his voice, "Steady?" He looked livid.

Hobbie noted the consternation on his friend's face, "Tycho ... it's been a long time. You understand ... Biggs had died ... and Wes's friend Porkins, too. We were on the lam, didn't know what would happen ..."

"But ... wasn't that ... it was four years ...?" Tycho couldn't help his stuttering.

"Yes, and Wes and I have been a sort of "item," but ... it's not like Biggs and me ..."

"Ohmigosh and sithspit, when did you morons turn into such liars???" Wes was standing up now, hands on his hips and stomping in anger, "Who the hell is this guy that suddenly you're all turning around to suck HIS cock?? I'm suddenly not your one and only boobookittyfuck???" For emphasis, he slapped Hobbie on the rump.

Both Wedge and Hobbie moved to shush up the angry man, who was feeling justifiably slighted by both his lover and his commander. How dare they pretend I don't exist! Who IS this Tycho Celchu?? What the hell does HE have that's so damned special??

As they descended on him, Wes was ready. He was pumped and angry and took a heavy swing at Hobbie, who's head popped back with a sickening sound. He fell into Wedge, who tripped and fell backward.

At the sight of Hobbie falling, Tycho ran forward to catch him, but had too much momentum and ended up reversing the direction of Hobbie's fall, toward Wes. Not anticipating this, Wes was completely unprepared for the weight of Hobbie and Tycho falling on him; he in turn fell onto the bed behind him and it suddenly gave way and collapsed in a heap, causing the bunks stacked overhead to fall on top of all of them!

Wedge rolled away from the pile of humans and furniture and watched in horror as layer after layer of bedding and ferristeel tubing fell onto the icy floor of the room. He wisely decided to wait till the collapsing of the badly assembled bunkbed was done; he wouldn't have been able to help and he didn't want to injure the officers further by accidentally stepping on them. He was a very considerate young man.

As the crashing and banging stopped and the ice bits that had cracked off the ceiling due to the cacophany quieted, he dared to peer up at the mess. He was quite close to it; some ice had fallen on him, so he crawled away from it, shaking the shards off and brushing dust off himself. "Captain Celchu? Wes? Hobbie?"

He thought he saw movement, but it was followed by a sharp CRACK and the floor tipped! Wedge scurried to back into the corridor and watched in stunned shock as the whole contents of the room disappeared! Where the pile of debris had been, there was now a gaping hole ...

Panicky at possibly having lost most of his officer corps, Wedge got down on his belly and slithered forward on the icy floor. Afraid to yell out and possibly cause an avalanche, he half-whispered, "Hello? Hello?" He strained to hear anything.

"Argh ..." That was Wes!

"Wes! Are you okay? Are you hurt? How are Hobbie and Tycho?" Wedge called out a bit more loudly.

"Ouch!" That was Hobbie's voice! It was muffled though, and Wes answered for him, "Hobs says he's fine, Wedge. But I think I broke something. Hey, is Tycho that guy who made me jealous?"

Wedge couldn't believe Wes was still holding a grudge, "Um, yeah ... he's your superior officer, Wes. Is he okay?"

"Superior officer ... Oh, I see ... so that's why he comes in and claims any ass he pleas--"

"Wes!" Wedge was daring to even yell softly now, "How is he?"

"Hmph, he's fine, and so am I, thanks. He's knocked out cold, but seems to be okay. Maybe a concussion. If I'm lucky, the blow was a cock-knocke--"

"I'll get help Wes ... don't move! I'm sorry, but the floor is unstable, I have to get help to pull you out. You have blankets, right? Stay warm! I'll be back as soon as I can!"

* * * * *

Wes was peering up through the debris at the thread of light from what used to be the room he and Hobbie shared. He couldn't see anything, but he heard Wedge say he'd go and get help.

"Some help," muttered Wes angrily, "a perfectly fine fucking afternoon and he barges in and I lose my boytoy!"

He heard a groan by his hip, "I am not a boytoy! Stop saying that!"

"Oh, Hobs, didn't know you were still awake! Thought you and Captain Tycho were in dreamland together." Wes was still rather upset.

Hobbie groaned again, "It's not like that! We were never a couple! I told you about me and Biggs, Tycho was our friend!"

"Oh, really? Like we were never a couple either, apparently??!" Hobbie's denial of their relationship to Tycho still stung.

"Wes, don't be like this ... I haven't seen Tycho in years! I thought he was dead; HE probably thought I was dead! He may not even have known that Biggs died! Be a bit compassionate, asshole ... stop letting your dick do all your thinking for you!" Hobbie coughed; he apparently wasn't getting enough air down there. Wes immediately felt bad for his lover.

"Hold on, Hobbie ... let me move some stuff, might get you some more air.."

"No, don't! You might hurt--" Ugh, HE'LL get "hurt" if I show too much care toward Tycho!

"He's fine, kittyfuck! His head is right beside mine ... the bastard knocked his head into me, good thing I'm tougher and more manly, eh? He's out cold!"

"Wes, you pig! If you hurt him..."

"Waddaya mean, pig?? I'm a MALE ALPHA PIG, bitch, and don't you forget it ... I'm head HOG! As head hog, would I do such a thing? Something so sissyish and idiotic as hurt a past fuckwit? Sheesh, why would I hurt this lovely face? Over what? Over you? Oh, give me a break!"

This last statement was met with silence.

Hah, jealous? Have a taste of your own medicine, Klivian! "Such long, pretty eyelashes ... beautiful lips ... he's right here, Hobbie ... I can see why you thought so much of him ..."

More silence.

"Mmmm ..."

By turning his head, he could nibble at Captain Celchu's lips. Not bad ... He groaned and licked loudly, so that Hobbie could hear.

"Wes," Janson could feel Hobbie's breath against his hip, "Stop it, that's rape!"

"What this little piggy don't know, he don't know, mmmm ..." Wes was starting to enjoy himself. It was a pleasant way to pass the time till Wedge could arrange to rescue them.

He thought he heard Hobbie muttering to himself, but he chose to ignore him. Wes was enjoying tormenting his friend, but even more, he was enjoying the feel of the man who was his superior officer. He grinned to himself, Superior except for when I haul his bitch-ass into my bed! Oink! He giggled at the reference to being a hog.

Wes was really getting into it, and merely moaned appreciatively when he felt Hobbie's lips embracing the head of his growing dick. "Oooh, Hobs ... don't stop ..." Hobbie must like being raked over the jealousy coals, the little sow. And just then, he felt Tycho's lips responding to his. Unh, sensory overload ... yes yes yes!!! This was better than the hottest porn Wes had ever experienced before!

In his mind, he was being ministered to by two gorgeous girls with soft lips. They were competing for his affection ... he'd shunt his concentration from one pair of lips to the other ... That he was held down by the weight of the debris above him and couldn't move even if he wanted to added to the sensations. Ooh yes ... yes ... close ... unh ...

Wes will never forgive the wampa that roared so close to them at that very moment, just before he got to the point of no return. He felt a pain in his groin as Hobbie bit him in shock, and in his lip as Tycho did the same. They felt the vibrations of the beast pulling the broken furniture pieces in his effort to get at them. "Oh no, oh no, we're in a wampa cave!" Wes heard Hobbie sobbing. Well, that certainly explained why there were in this hole in the first place -- the engineers had dug the dormitory rooms over pre-existing caves!

But Wes hadn't put all these pieces of the puzzle together at the time. The pain of being bitten twice had caused Wes to jolt in surprise and agony, just as a large piece of bracing was hauled off him. He popped out of prone position and hopped about in agony. His broken leg sent another sting of pain through him and he bellowed like a wounded reek, startling the wampa momentarily.

Face to face with a beast capable of breaking the neck of a tauntaun, Wes didn't think. He got his hands on a steel rod and swung -- hard. The rod connected and bent around the creature's skull, stunning it! As the wampa fell backward, Wes jumped on it and kept screaming from the pain, beating the creature over the head till he was shoved back by a huge paw ... He felt the claws embed into his chest and felt a sense of outrage before everything went red and black in a miasmatic pool ...

* * * * *

"Your name, sir."

Janson, Wes Janson.

"Your rank, sir."

I'm head alpha HOG!

Wes heard laughter. He wondered if the laughter was in his head, or if he'd said those words out loud? And who was laughing at him?

He felt something touch the side of his head and he tried to swat that something away, but he found he was immobilized. "Don't, Wes," a voice told him. Was that Wedge? Good ol' Wedge, he'd gone to get help, was he back? "You've been in bacta. You're going to be all right, Big Pig Boy! Just let the Emdee 'droid do its job."

Right ... right ... I was hurt. I normally heal well and fast in Bacta, must've been hurt bad to be in it for ... how many days?

"Four days, PigBoy." Was that Hobbie? "We've missed you. While you were gone, some bad things and good things happened --um, first, we lost our room, and now we're bunking in the officers' lounge till they carve us out another one."

That's not so bad. Um, is Tycho with us?

"Yes, I am," replied Tycho. Damn, I must be saying this stuff out loud. There was more laughter. "But don't worry, so is Wedge, and well as Commander Skywalker. So I'll be on my best behavior. Besides, why would I hurt a guy who not only thinks I'm pretty, but who saved my life and Hobbie's?"

Hobbie! You told him I thought he was pretty???

"Yeah," even though Wes couldn't see him, he knew Hobbie was smirking, "thought he'd like to know that you like him."

Bastard. Everyone laughed again.

"Hey, don't worry, alpha Hog... or should I say, Ground Hog? Yeah, trapped in your hog hole!" That was Tycho again; Wes swore he'd know his voice even among the laughter surrounding him. "I'd never hurt you. Where I came from, hurting a furry animal in his hole would only get your six weeks more winter. And you're a pretty furry beast, Janson! If I hurt you, I'd probably come off worse than you did against that wampa!"

When I'm all better, he wished they'd stop laughing at him, I'll show you what a GROUNDHOG can do to YOUR hole, pretty boy ...

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