Attachments
Rating: PG
Kidan

Author’s Note: This is my first Fan Fiction. I hope that everyone enjoys it at least a little. Thanks!



Out of the corner of my eye I see him. He is there with the smuggler, the Wookie, and the Princess. He is watching, watching Vader and me as we fight our fight once again.

Vader.

That name has so many memories for me; my young padawan, my cocky partner, my trusted brother. Seeing him again after all these years brings back so many memories. The fact that he is now a Sith brings back even more. I remember when I first saw him, "another pathetic life-form" I teased my Master, little to realize how soon it would be until a Sith would strike him down.

I remember the anger and hatred that surged through me. It was then that I finally realized why the Jedi Council forbade attachments. After all, it was my attachment to Qui-Gon that allowed me to defeat that Sith. That cold seductive power fueled by the heat of my emotions. I gloried in the vengeance I dealt out. At least until I saw the body of my Master lying there, then I buried what I had done under my shame.

The second biggest attachment in my life, lead to the second biggest mistake in my life.

The first of course was Anakin.

Anakin, whom I loved like a son, I wonder if all parents feel that deep stabbing wound of betrayal when their beloved child goes wayward from their teachings. Or if the pain I carry still is due to the horrific nature of my son's betrayal. How foolish we all were, treating him as if he had been raised in the Temple, never realizing that the attachments were already there, or were we just ignoring them, hoping they would fade as he aged.

What is saddest is that everything that has happened has been for love. I killed that Sith because I loved my Master. Anakin betrayed the Jedi because he loved Padme. I fought Anakin because I loved the Jedi. Now I do what I am about to, because I love him. He is so much like his father that I could not help myself; after all, for all intents and purposes he is my grandson.

I hope that what I am preparing works, Qui-Gon has promised me it shall, the Force tells me that this is how it should be, but still a kernel of doubt is there. I let the Force flow through me slightly calming my over-worked muscles, soothing my nerves. I remember how often Master Yoda would tell me, "At peace, must a Jedi be. Only then, the will of the Force can he know." I trust the Force.

"This is a fight you cannot win, Darth." I hear myself say. "Your power has matured since I taught you, but I too have grown much since our parting. If my blade finds its mark, you will cease to exist. But if you cut me down, I will only become more powerful."

I know Luke admires me, that seed of attachment is there. I only hope he does not cling to the pain as much as I have. After all, one can have an attachment to pain and guilt as easily as one holds an attachment towards their son. There, I finally offer up my final and most hidden attachment to the Force. My attachment to the pain and guilt I felt at Qui-Gon's death, Anakin's betrayal and that fateful battle on Mustafar.

How I wish there was time for me to tell Vader that I forgive him and still love him. Time enough for me to tell him that I understand his attachments now. Tell him how proud I always was of him. Not that such things would do any good, the light that would appreciate such gestures has long been extinguished within him. My poor padawan, he is so twisted and dark, as much a machine as a man. Sadly time is up for me, I feel Vader's blade begin its journey through me. I shunt the pain away and focus on the Force.

Dimly I hear the boy screaming my name and myself whisper "Run Luke, Run."


Disclaimer: All content is made up, and no profit or lucre is expected, solicited, advocated or paid. This is all just for fun. Any comments, please e-mail the author or WOOKIEEhut directly. Flames will be ignored. Characters and situations are based on those which are the property of LucasFilms Ltd., Bantam Publishing, Random House, and their respective original owners and developers. The rest is this story's author's own fault. This story may not be posted anywhere without the author's knowledge, consent, and permission. This web page is presented by Wookieehut.com.