A Little Love ... Rating: PG13
Kidan

His fist connected with my jaw. Hard. I could feel it as it shattered a tooth, and knocked another out. I shook my head, trying to focus through the dizziness. The coppery taste of blood filled my mouth, so I spat a wad of it out.

I grinned at him, and he grinned back. I could feel it in the Force.

We have been this way for years. We ignore one another, until the moment we can get away, away from our responsibilities, our friends and family. Once we're able, we run away until we're hidden-because none of them would understand. None of them could understand. After all, our relationship is complicated, to say the least.

So we run away to some backwater planet that is more untrained wilderness than anything else. Then we proceeded to beat the kriff out of one another, until we're both too exhausted and sore to move.

And then the fun really starts. Then we would use each others bodies to forget our pain and loneliness.

At that moment, I was holding my own. Sure, I had a knife wound to my upper arm and lower thigh, but he had a nice sized hole in his stomach. Of course, I lost my knife giving him that wound. As the blade had sunk in, he had twisted away, ripping the hilt from my hand.

He cheated that way. Still does.

Regardless, we weren't worried too much about the damage to our bodies, after all, the Force and bacta would patch us up better than ever once we were done playing.

It was that punch that rattled my head though; I was still seeing the bright lights behind my eyes. No matter the number of times I get smacked in that spot, it always hurt, and it always dazed me for a few moments.

He knew this. He took advantage of it every time. Like I said, he cheats.

Just part of why I love him so much.

Well, I don't know if love would really be the right description. Lust? Desire? The straight animalistic tendencies of two pieces of meat? An overwhelming desire to beat him to within a centimeter of death?

All of that and more. It's part and parcel of the things we went through at the hands of the Yuuzhan Vong.

The other thing we went through at their hands is that I lost my first lover. His brother.

Like I said, our relationship is complicated.

I cursed as I realized my thoughts had been wandering. Helped to this realization by a swift kick to the head. Pain flared across my awareness, driving it away.

I woke to him tossing a bucket of frigid stream water into my face.

Sputtering, I leaned my chest up, lifting it by my elbows. I inhaled, trying to focus past the pain. Finally, I glared up at him where he stood over me. "You had to use the water, didn't you? You couldn't wake me up nice?"

He grinned. I hate it when he grins, and I've told him that. After all, his grin is a mirror image of his dad's. As was his brother's. That grin hurts. A lot. I think that might be why he continued to do it.

"I couldn't help it," he said. "Too enticing a view."

I was confused for a moment, and then I noticed that he was staring at my chest. I looked down, and remembered that I had been wearing a white natural fiber undershirt. It was currently sodden and translucent.

I glared up at him again, and then sliced my leg through his, dumping him to the ground. He landed hard, and I slammed my foot into his face, my own grin coming to my lips as I heard his nose crunch.

"Kwiff, 'Ri, youd brode by dose."

I sat up the rest of the way and crawled over to where he laid in the dirt. He stared at me for a moment, and then I leaned down and kissed him hard, tasting the blood on his lips.

I could feel both his pain and his pleasure in the Force.

A mirror image of my own.

Breaking the kiss, I sat back on my haunches and smiled coyly at him and pulled my sodden shirt off.

No, I don't love him. I could never love him. He is too much like his brother, and too different from his brother, for me to ever truly love him. It would always be just a pale imitation of my love for Anakin.

Why he put up with me, I don't know.

Still don't.

But I take what I get, and give just as good. Especially, when I'm hungry for just a little bit of love.


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