Wookiee Hut Cuisine presents:
What the ... Chili?? Oh!
by SuSu and Voort

"Hey!" Wes Jason was hollering at his heterosexual life mate, his best friend Hobbie Klivian. The two had decided long ago that they both enjoyed women, they couldn't stand to live with them for any amount of time, and so decided to be roommate bachelors and share rent, food, and bills. It actually worked out well: it was economical, and they were never really lonely. They even shared cooking duties.

Hobbie looked like he was burning something in a big pot. It was bad enough that it was happening, but worse, Hobbie was actually standing over the pot, stirring it and encouraging it to char and smoke. "What the ... you are burning dinner??"

Hobbie whistled a tuneless melody and said, "It's chili." He poured some water into the mess in the pot and scraped up the burnt bits into the liquid.

Wes brightened immediately. "Chili?? Oh!" It was his favorite dish that Hobbie made, but he'd never seen him do it before. "It's supposed to be burnt? Is that what makes it smoky?"

Hobbie added more ingredients and proceeded to burn them, too, and just kept whistling, tunelessly.


  • olive oil
  • 3 onions, diced
  • 4 carrots, diced
  • half a head of celery, or broccoli stems, diced
  • salt
  • 6 sausages, chopped
  • 1 lb / 450 g ground beef
  • 1 small can chipotle sauce
  • 2 cans tomato paste
  • 2 cans canneli beans
  • 1 can kernel corn
  • water
Heat the oil in a heavy-bottomed pot, and add the onions, carrots, celery/broccoli stems. Add 1 tablespoon of salt and cook over medium heat till wilted. Raise the heat to brown the vegetables and chase off water.

Add the meat and cook till slightly burned on the bottom of the pot. Add the chipotle sauce and rinse out the can with a cup of wate,r and scrape down the burnt bits off the pot. Cook till most of the water is gone and the mixture starts to stick to the pot.

Add the tomato paste and cook with stirring till charred. Add the beans and corn, rinsing out the cans with water. Stir well and heat through.

Serve on its own, or over rice, or with cornbread. Yields 6 to 8 very hearty servings.


Disclaimer: All content is made up, and no profit or lucre is expected, solicited, advocated or paid. This is all just for fun. Any comments, please e-mail the author or WOOKIEEhut directly. Flames will be ignored. Characters and situations are based on those which are the property of LucasFilms Ltd., Bantam Publishing, Random House, and their respective original owners and developers. The rest is this story's author's own fault. This story may not be posted anywhere without the author's knowledge, consent, and permission.

This recipe is provided "as is," and neither Wookieehut nor any person associated with the website is responsible for any success or failure of the recipe, nor any implied effects. If there are questions, please email the author.