Wookiee Hut Cuisine presents:
Waffles = Toasted Human Hand
by Susu, MaceVindaloo

Menu: Punishment Waffles | From Scratch Simple Waffles | Packaged Mix Waffles | Variations & Cooking and Serving Tips

Much has been made about how the Jedi were expected to eat what was served to them, no matter where they were or what they were served. In fact, so ingrained what this concept that Obi-wan had once forced himself to partake of hoi-broth, to which he was violently allergic. The results had nearly caused an galactic political incident!

So Obi-wan was quite relieved when his hosts on the next mission told him that it was not traditional in their culture to eat in front of others, and his and Anakin's rooms came with a kitchenette stocked with food supplies. Obi-wan was looking forward to a simple breakfast of toasted frozen waffles and stuck a couple of slices into a shiny new toaster and waited for it to heat and pop up when done.

Imagine his surprise when a HAND popped out! A scorched hand! Obi-wan jumped, visibly panicked, but he did notice his padawan trying very hard not to bust out laughing ... then he realized the hand was marked with a quadrillage grill pattern, like a checkerboard. But the toaster grilled straight lines. He'd been tricked!

Ever since Anakin had lost his arm in the battle with Count Dooku, he'd taken to improving and upgrading his cybernetics and software, and in his spare time he would even build new forearms and hands that worked better and responded more quickly. What to do with the old hands? Why, play tricks on Obi-wan, of course! This time, Anakin had managed to rig the toaster so anything that went in would drop away into the cabinet, and hooks underneath would grab his prosthetic hand hidden below and force it up the slot. He even charred the prosthetic to look like it was toasted, but he simply had chosen the wrong grid pattern.

As punishment, Anakin had to cook breakfast — from scratch — for Obi-wan for the duration of the mission, whatever Obi-wan wanted. You'd think the last thing he'd order up would be waffles ... but that's what he asked for, since it was a bigger pain to cook than pancakes or toast. Freshly made with chocolate chips and sliced fruit, it was a sublime treat they rarely got at the Jedi Temple. May as well take advantage of windfalls. Yumyumyum!



Punishment Waffles
These are the waffles Obi-wan required Anakin to make for many mornings, because they were such a pain to make and wash up after, but also because they were so light and tender when done properly!

  • 2 cups flour
  • 1 tablespoon baking powder
  • ½ teaspoon salt
  • 3 eggs, separated into yolks and whites in separate bowls
  • 1¾ cups milk
  • 4 tablespoons melted butter or vegetable oil
  • 3 tablespoons sugar
In a bowl, sift the flour, baking powder, salt. In another bowl, beat the egg yolks, then add the milk and butter and mix. Combine the contents of the first and second bowls and mix till the batter is smooth. In a third bowl, beat the eggwhites (use an electic mixer if you prefer) until they form soft peaks, the add sugar a spoonful at a time while beating till it's all incorporated and glossy looking (but not dry). Add a third of the beaten whites into the batter and mix. Fold in the remaining whites carefully to not deflate the volume.

Cook in a hot waffle iron, about ½ cup of batter per waffle, per the tips, below. Makes 4 to 6.

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From Scratch Simple Waffles
If Obi-wan had been less incensed and embarassed, he might have let Anakin make this recipe instead, which is very good, and holds things like berries or chocolate chips in the batter better.

  • 1 egg, well beaten
  • 1 cup milk
  • 4 teaspoons vegetable oil (canola is good)
  • ¾ cup flour
  • ½ tablespoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon sugar
  • ¼ teaspoon salt
In a medium bowl, beat together the egg, milk, oil. Sift in the flour, baking powder, sugar, salt and mix till well-blended.

Cook per the tips, below. Makes 4.

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Package Mix Waffles
And if Obi-wan was making the waffles, he'd likely resort to a package mix. Don't look down at it, it's a great waffle!

  • 2 cups Bisquick (or other basic baking mix)
  • 1-1/3 cups milk
  • 1 egg
  • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
Stir Bisquick, milk, egg, and oil till it's blended well. Cook per the tips, below. Makes 8 to 12, depending on whether you want Belgian or shallow waffles.

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Variations & Cooking and Serving Tips
To make the waffles more special, add things to the batter and/or take a bit of effort to create a nice presentation. Of course, Obi-wan required these things of Anakin after the "toasted human hand" incident!

  • Use an electric waffle iron with a non-stick surface. It will seriously make your life easier and cut down on your fat consumption.

  • Start heating the waffle iron. Place a spoonful of water in it, then close it. When you seem steam, it's hot enough to cook the waffles.

  • Pour in enough batter to half- to three-quarter-fill the waffle iron (more will just be messy). Close the waffle iron and allow to cook without peeking till the steaming stops or at least slows down considerably. The first one might stick; just close it and cook it some more.

  • The waffles are cooked when they are browned and crispy. How browned and "dried out" is up to you. But the more you cook it, the less likely it will break in the waffle iron or stick to the surface.

  • The thicker waffles with bigger "holes" are called Belgian waffles. You'll need a bit more batter to make those, so expect to make fewer if that's the kind of waffle iron you have. But the holes hold a lot more syrup or sauce and things like ice cream.

  • To make chocolate chip waffles, add 1 tablespoon chocolate chips to the batter in the waffle iron before you close it. More is not better.

  • To make fruit waffles, think blueberries — use them, or cut fruit to that size (diced up), and scatter on the batter before you close the waffle iron. Do not put too much fruit in there or you'll change the properties of the batter and it won't cook properly. You might see more steam, depending on the juiciness of the berries or fruit. So don't add too many berries or fruit pieces, and cook for about 5 minutes total.

  • A nice garnish for waffles (especially for chocolate chip waffles) — slice strawberries or other fruit and scatter or arrange over the waffles. Squeeze lemon juice over the fruit to season and to keep the colors true. Use a sieve and put a tablespoon of powdered sugar; shake over the waffles just before serving.

  • A nice change instead of syrup: sprinkle with granulated or brown sugar, and squeeze lemon juice over that so the sugar is partially dissolved. Use this treatment over the waffles, or over the fruit which top the waffles.

  • Waffles aren't just for breakfast — try using them as a base to serve things with lots of sauce, or even cornish game hens! In your grandmother's day, they might have made a sauce out of creamed condensed soups and put cut up turkey or beef into the "gravy" then ladeled it over the waffles. It's good! Also good under tuna salad, or with cheese melted over the top!

  • If you have leftover, ungarnished waffles, let them cool completely to room temperature and store them in airtight bags or containers in the refrigerator or freezer. To defrost, wrap loosely in a paper towel and microwave for 15 seconds per waffle (more or less time will be needed, depending on the power of your microwave), or pop while still frozen in the toaster.


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