Wookiee Hut Cuisine presents:
Snubfighter Air Freshener Popcorn
by Susu

Runt didn't really mind being on stake-outs and back-up assignments all the time. He was what he was: a very small Thakwaash, the only one in all of Starfighter Command. As a result, he was highly recognizable, and using him on commando assignments or undercovers was nearly impossible. But he didn't want to be left behind, so he served invisibly, providing crucial surprise air support or logging data critical to a mission's success. He'd even received some medals and commendations for his work.

The thing that got to him was the staleness of everything after sitting in a snubfighter for two or three days without break. He'd use a tube for a refresher, and ate who-knows-how-many of those dried stick rations critical to emergency packs. The inside of a fighter was cramped, forcing the likes of him and squadmates Piggy saBinring and Kell Tainer to fly them in a rather forward-crouched position. The air got stale, being scrubbed and fed back to him through the same filters. It could get depressing.

He didn't want to complain, though.

But Thakwaash possess multiple minds, one for every personality aspect. And he had a selfish mind, who poured out his woe to his former bunkmate and best friend, Kell Tainer. It was done while Runt was sleeping.

So Kell and his girlfriend, Tyria, came up with the following snack. He modified Runt's blaster to emit microwaves on the low end of the spectrum controls, and she grew some of the correct type of corn and dried it.

Runt discovered he could just put the corn in a bag and scrunch it around the front of the blaster and press "cook" for a minute or two. He also discovered he could heat other foods that way, too! Suddenly, stake-outs were not so awful anymore.

But now, Runt's selfish mind is whining about that refresher ...

  • 1/4 cup popping corn (popcorn is different from other types of corn! don't use "maize" or "hominy" or a generic "dried corn")
  • 2 teaspoons oil (corn or olive or other vegetable oil is fine)
  • 1/4 teaspoon fine salt ("popcorn salt" is very fine, or put regular salt in a blender or food processor for a couple of minutes to break down into smaller granules)
  • paper lunch bag
Into the paper lunch sack, measure in the corn, salt and oil. Fold the top of the bag over and using a stapler, close the bag. Do NOT use more than two staples, or you'll get arcing and damage the oven.

In the microwave, cook in High Power for 2 to 3 minutes, or until there is more than 3 seconds between popping noises. Remove from oven and open carefully, or you'll get severe, nasty steam burns. Place in a bowl and serve.

Feeds one person, or one small Thakwaash.

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