Wookiee Hut Cuisine presents:
Illicit Omelet

by SuSu

Neimoidians are a race built around power, position and ceremony. Thus, whether something is good or not is based not really on whether it's actually good, but rather on how much did it cost? How much effort and how many resources were needed to produce it? How rare is it? How much time, skill, and labor are needed? In matters of food, we might consider some of their efforts equal to producing a gaudy medieval banquet -- the procurement of expensive spices, huge kitchen staffs, hunted animals and vegetables, served on exquisitely crafted tableware, accompanied by rare vintages and pricey entertainment. In private dinner parties, the wealthy would try to out-do one another in presenting or describing dishes they had eaten or had had prepared.

In addition, wealthy Neimoidians shared an obsession with "forbidden" ingredients -- high among the list was eggs. These are considered taboo, since their race is hatched from eggs. As procuring eggs was generally a secret and taboo endeavor, the Neimoidian upper echelons justified expensive preparations for the ingredient.

This recipe was created for none other than Viceroy Nute Gunray. It's basically something between a scrambled egg dish and an omelet. But the eggs are separated, the whites and yolks beaten separately then brought back together. Miniscule amounts of other ingredients are added to pump up the expense or the "dare factor." Of course, if there is a touch of naughtiness about the ingredient, more the better! Mushrooms are generally considered "forbidden" as the vegetable grew wild in the caverns in which the young Neimoidians were raised. Communal hives of grubs are not given enough food, to encourage them to be avaricious, resourceful, and so that the weak may perish at a very early stage. The fungus was foraged and hoarded by the stronger hatchlings ... No wonder that after leaving the caverns, adults shunned the mushroom! But when brined, then chopped fine, it's not detectable as the vile vegetable of their past, and not knowing -- yet feeling it to be familiar and wrong -- enhances this guilty, expensive pleasure, making it illicit, indeed!

    per serving
  • 3 eggs
  • ¼ teaspoon salt
  • 1 tablespoon chopped mushrooms, pickled or brined (canned mushrooms, well drained and cut up, work well here)
  • 1 tablespoon bacon bits (if you use real bacon, cook it till crispy and crumble it into small pieces)
  • 1 tablespoon butter
The eggs should be at room temperature. Separate the whites and the yolks, placing the whites in a large bowl and the yolks in a smaller one. Add the salt, and beat the whites till very soft peaks form. In a separate bowl, beat the yolks, then fold into the foamy whites, trying to keep the foamy texture. Add the mushrooms and bacon bits, and fold carefully.

Melt the butter in a skillet or frypan (non-stick is a good idea here). Wait for the butter to froth, then subside, then give the eggs a quick stir and add to the hot pan. The yolks will have separated a bit; don't worry. Leave the eggs alone for 1 minute, no stirring! When the egg starts to set and coagulate, slowly mix by getting a wooden spoon or spatula beneath the cooked part of the egg and turning it over on the foamy side. Do this slowly. You do not what tiny rubbery balls of egg -- you want tender, soft lumps, a sort of free-form omelet. Whatever you do, do not mix madly, thinking you'll make the eggs fluffy or something! You want this is large pieces, and remember all the effort you went to to beat the whites???

Serve grandly.

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