Wookiee Hut Cuisine presents:
Delicious Non-Diet Bread Pudding

by McGonaGirl and Dumbledwarf

Vincent Crabbe had always been a big kid ... okay, he was fat, but he didn't much care. He made this liability into an asset by being tough and hanging out with with best friend Gregory Goyle, as the brawn behind Draco Malfoy.

But when he entered Hogwart's, he -- like all the students -- was required to be physically examined by the medical witches and wizards in the hospital wing. They told him he was far too large for his height, and that he needed to lose two stone (28 America pounds)! They prescribed him a strict diet and put enchantments on him and his room so that he could not simply conjure up candy.

Determined to feed his hunger, he tried to get Goyle to do the conjuring for him, but the sweets and munchies wouldn't pass his lips! Afraid that he'd starve, he complained to Madame Pomfrey, who explained that properly cooked and healthful foods would get through the filter. So he'd be fine, and stop trying to eat junk!

Despondent and desperate, Crabbe took some time to think about what the nurse had told him. Obviously, the spell was to prevent him from eating processed, prepared foods. Fresh food and "properly cooked" meals would be fine. He tested this idea out in the dining room -- chips, cake, sugary drinks, candies wouldn't go into his mouth. Broccoli, bread, soups, non-fried meats, water, milk, etc. got through without a fight.

Though he was losing weight (Madame Pomfrey weighed him every day), Crabbe was sure he was going to die. Then Goyle came up with a brilliant idea -- why not cook something that was not quite a cake, and had fruit in it for sweetness instead of sugar? How about cooking a bread into a moist sort of sweet stew with milk and eggs in it? Why, bread pudding! Made from raisin toast! The components were for breakfast, not a "snack" -- even less of a chance for the teachers to figure out what they were doing!

But since they couldn't cook in the dorms, Crabbe decided to smuggle in a Muggle appliance -- something completely unexpected, so that the teachers and Madame Pomfrey wouldn't detect it! He'd heard a friend with a Muggle mother talk about a slow-cooker, which cooked over low heat on it's own so that you didn't have to watch it all the time. Perfect! He and Goyle would assemble the bread pudding before classes and power up the cooker. By the time they came back, it would be done!

Unfortunately, though none of the staff realized what was happening, the smell of the cooking pudding was so potent that it wafted all over the school, even reaching the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey realized that Crabbe had put on weight in the past few days, and suddenly knew why. She marched into the Slytherin dungeon and confiscated the cooker and it's contents -- but stopped short of throwing it away. It smelled so good that she had to have a little taste ... so now that delectable smell wafts out of the hospital wing every few days, when Madame Pomfrey makes up this recipe as a special treat for her patients -- it's soft, smooth and caloric -- great for not upsetting digestive systems and for keeping energy up for healing! (Crabbe did end up losing the weight, but he never got the slow cooker back! And there was a sudden rise in the number of broomstick and gardening accidents on the "bread pudding days.")

  • 8 to 10 slices cinnamon raisin bread, cubed (or use plain white bread, sliced or loaf)
  • ½ to ¾ cup raisins (or other dried fruit of your choice)
  • 4 large eggs
  • ¾ cup water, warmed
  • 1 teaspooon powdered cinnamon
  • 14 oz/400 g sweetened, condensed milk (1 can)

Butter the inside of a slow cooker pot. Layer in the bread cubes, then the raisins. In a bowl, beat together the eggs, water, cinnamon and condensed milk till well combined, then pour over the bread and raisins. Put the lid on the cooker and set on "high" and cook for about 2 to 3 hours, or till a cake tester comes out clean. To make it even more luscious and caloric, serve with butter and maple syrup for breakfast or dessert. Makes 8 servings.

Disclaimer: All content is made up, and no profit or lucre is expected, solicited, advocated or paid. This is all just for fun. Any comments, please e-mail the author or WOOKIEEhut directly. Flames will be ignored. Characters and situations are based on those which are the property of their respective original owners and developers. The rest is this story's author's own fault. This story may not be posted anywhere without the author's knowledge, consent, and permission.

This recipe is provided "as is," and neither Wookieehut nor any person associated with the website is responsible for any success or failure of the recipe, nor any implied effects. If there are questions, please email the author.