Wookiee Hut Cuisine presents:
Life Altering "Black Forest" Chocolate Cake
by SuSu, MaceVindaloo

In the story Lomin-life for Chocolate Cake, Wes Janson is ready to throw in his libidinous high-swingin' life for the woman who served him this cake. Horrors!

Having discovered that the cream-topped, cherry-stuffed, moist, dense, iced, sweet, sticky chocolate cake -- dubbed "The Black Forest" for it's sinful connotations -- could be bought, Wes wanted it often, but he recognized that not only was it expensive, but he realized that he didn't want to be jaded by its ready availability. So he'd try to tame himself by taking dates to the exclusive restaurant when he craved a slice; he reasoned that in front of a desirable lady he was trying to impress, he'd less likely make a pig of himself.

But as usual, he was completely wrong. He would try to SAVOR his piece of cake, then discover it was gone ... then he'd grab his partner's piece ("What?!? You were picking at it! YOU obviously didn't WANT it!"). He'd shudder in delight as he ate the cake, licking his fork, the plate, and the table to pick up the crumbs. Not surprisingly, this behavior normally freaked out his dates. Fortunately, he would be in such euphoria that he usually didn't notice that they'd left him in a huff, never to be heard from again. Well, he MIGHT notice, but he'd respond by ordering two more slices and eating them both ...

Eventually, his roommate Hobbie got tired of Wes's whining about how no one understood his desire for this cake, and he pointed out two things to Wes: 1) He should only eat this cake in public if Wes actually WANTED to break up with the girl; and 2) The magical cake was actually not difficult to make, if one used a prepared mix for the cake and canned pie filling for the fruit. Sure, it was a lot of steps, and it took planning and timing for things to cool, etc. But it wasn't hard. Wes thus learned to make the cake by himself, for himself. Initially, he'd say that he was baking for a friend's birthday or somesuch ... but he'd end up eating it all by himself!

    The Chocolate Cake (from a box)
  • 1 box devil's foodcake
  • 1 1/3 cup water
  • ½ cup vegetable oil (bland is best, not olive oil)
  • 3 eggs
  • butter or solid vegetable shortening, to grease cakepans
  • flour, for sprinkling into cake pans
Heat the oven to 350°F / 175°C. To make the cake, follow the package directions; the ingredients and proportions given above are the general ones for the major brands of chocolate devil's food cake mixes. Beat with an electric mixer on medium speed for two minutes. Make sure the batter is even and smooth. If you do it by hand, whisk the mixture very well for the same amount of time. But again, follow the directions on the package.

Grease and flour two 8-inch cakepans. Place the batter evenly into the two pans. Tap them on the counter to level them -- try to avoid lopsided cakes, as much as possible. They are done when a toothpick or wooden skewer poked in the center comes out clean, not covered with liquidy chocolate gunk. A few crumbs clinging on to the toothpick is fine.

Place the pans on a wire rack to cool for 15 minutes, then turn them out onto the rack to cool completely, at least an hour.

    Kir Simple Syrup
  • ¼ cup water
  • ½ cup sugar
  • ¼ cup kirschwasser or dry (non-sweet) fruit brandy (cherry is best)
In a heavy-bottomed, small saucepan, heat together the water and sugar. When the sugar is completely dissolved, remove from the heat and add the kirschwasser. Note, do not pour any liquor straight from the bottle! Pour it into a cup, then add that to the hot sugar syrup. Stir, but be careful not to breathe the fumes -- the alcohol in the kirsch will start to boil out and evaporate immediately when it hits the hot syrup.

Pour into a cold heatproof bowl and set aside to cool down to room temperature.

Set one layer of the cake on a level surface and trim up any lopsidedness and bulges. Then cut the cake in half horizontally to make two layers from one. Repeat to the other layer. You should have four layers and some leftover cake trimmings. You can set the trimmings aside to nibble on (with leftover cherries, icing, etc.). Set each cake layer cut-side-up on individual flat plates.

With a spoon or a pastry brush, sprinkle or brush the syrup completely over the cut surface of the cake. Don't soak, but make sure you get some syrup over the whole surface. Leave the cakes to dry for at least half an hour.

After the syrup has dried a bit onto the cut cake, select one of the slices for the base and one for the top. Put the base onto a cake plate -- syrup side up -- and cover the surface with pie cherries. You won't be using all the sticky, thick sauce. Be sure the cherries are arranged evenly toward the edge of the layer as well as evenly over the surface -- this layer will be supporting three other layers of cake and cherries. Place the next slice of cake -- syrup side up -- over the cherries, then cover with cherries again. Repeat with the next slice. Finally, top with the last piece of cake, syrup side down.

    Chocolate Butter Icing
  • 1 lb / 450 g powdered sugar (between 4 and 5 cups)
  • ¾ cup powdered cocoa (unsweetened)
  • 1 stick butter, softened to room temperature
  • 1/3 cup boiling water
CAUTION: Make this icing just before you need it, or it'll be tough to spread! Using an electric mixer, mix together the powdered sugar, butter, and boiling water until it comes together to form a spreadable icing. If it's a bit wet, add some more powdered sugar then beat again. If too dry, add more boiling water, a tablespoon at a time, beating well between additions of boiling water.

Spread the icing over the prepared cake by first dolloping icing over the top, and work the flat side of a knife or solid spatula back and forth to flatten and smooth out the icing over the top of the cake, pushing excess icing to the edges. Then smooth the icing down the sides of the cake till completely covered. This will seal your cake and protect it from oozing apart, so try to not have holes or breaks in the icing.

Chill a bowl and whisk, as well as the cream. Pour the cream into the bowl and start whisking, incorporating air into the cream. The colder the implements, the faster the cream will whip. (You can use an electric mixer for this step.) Whisk till it forms soft peaks, but stop before it gets grainy and rough looking.

Dollop or pipe the cream over the top of the cake. Garnishing with leftover cherries is a nice touch, or sprinkle over with chocolate shavings (take a vegetable peeler to a bar of chocolate at room temperature) or sifted cocoa powder.

Serves 8 to 12, depending on the size of your slices.

Disclaimer: All content is made up, and no profit or lucre is expected, solicited, advocated or paid. This is all just for fun. Any comments, please e-mail the author or WOOKIEEhut directly. Flames will be ignored. Characters and situations are based on those which are the property of LucasFilms Ltd., Bantam Publishing, Random House, and their respective original owners and developers. The rest is this story's author's own fault. This story may not be posted anywhere without the author's knowledge, consent, and permission.

These recipes are provided "as is," and neither Wookieehut nor any person associated with the website is responsible for any success or failure of the recipes, nor any implied effects. If there are questions, please email the author. This page is presented by Wookieehut.